Maybe not Hitler-level, but probably somewhere around the level of that kid who stole your milk money.
But wtf have I been doing over the past 14 days? Well first there was this scheme: I decided I had to learn how to fly fish. It started in Prince George, BC last summer, when I got stuck in a canoe for an afternoon with someone learning to fly fish...
In between ducking the fly and shielding my eyes from the hook of death, I thought to myself... "Hmm, you know...if I was wielding the hook of death, fly fishing might be pretty fun..."
I managed to find a fly fishing class that runs right near my cottage, and for $95 I managed to accomplish my longterm goal for fly fishing on the first day...CATCHING A STEELHEAD!
|This is...a big fish.|
With one lifetime dream accomplished, it was time to prepare for Midsummer. A Swedish tradition that revolves around the return of the sun and warmth...and booze. As most Swedish traditions do. I decided to have some people over for fish and booze and strawberries, it went fairly well:
|Hurr durr, flowers!|
|THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE!|
|TTC flower-wreath extravaganza!|
So with all this fish and flowers and booze...why the pent up rage?
I. DON'T. KNOW.
Which is to say, I know that the combination of: extreme heat warnings, broken AC at the office, working in 40C+ heat, nearly getting hit by taxis on the way to work, bills, Rob Ford, my career's stagnancy, being talked down to in sporting goods stores for being a girl, and...oh fuck it, I don't know...the economy let's say, all contributes into a ball of pent of rage deep in my soul.
It's the complete helplessness of the situation. I can't control taxis drivers who veer without thought or signals. I can't make my bosses give me a raise, or even value my existence. I can't yell at an AC unit to get its shit together and be cool...but I guess I can do that to myself...
HEY! HEY YOU! YEA, YOU TALL AWKWARD GIRL! C'MERE! ...
LISTEN, I KNOW THINGS ARE TOUGH RIGHT NOW...AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW YOU'D LIKE TO PEEL OFF YOUR OWN SKIN IF IT WOULD COOL YOU DOWN...BUT YOU NEED TO RELAX.
I'M SERIOUS. IT'S ALL GOING TO BE OK...PROVIDING YOU KEEP ON BUSTING YOUR ASS. ALSO, DID I MENTION THAT IS A FINE LOOKIN' CAKE AND FISH?
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ON A CRIMINALLY LOW SALARY AND BE CONFIDENT THAT THINGS ARE ON AN UPWARD SLOPE.
NOW...WOULD YOU LIKE A KITTY?
A GIFT, FROM YOUR INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: